Depression, Anxiety, it sucks

Hope everyone had a Blessed Litha, a Merry Yule for the Southern Hemispherers and just a happy first day of Summer for everyone else. I've been having a lot going through my mind lately and been trying to sort through them all. My doctor put me on Zoloft again, I hate depression and anxiety. It's been lingering over me for so many years, no matter how much I fight, I think it has to do with lack of support. I just feel so alone sometimes and I think is it really worth still living here on this earth, no one really likes me that much, yes they say they do, but where are they? Do you know what stops me from just not wanting to be here anymore? My kids, my lights , my reason to want to live. They are the most important people to me. I could never leave them, one parent already left them. I can't do that to them. So it's a struggle from day to day. I feel like I'm a failure, no good at anything. I want a job, but don't have any experience, don't know what I'd be good at doing. I really want office work, but my typing skills aren't quick enough, I'm not quick enough for any employer, believe me I've heard it so many times and it gets really frustrating when you try your best, but its not good enough. I'm sorry for being all Debbie Downer today, I just needed to get everything off my chest, it was hurting me too much keeping it all in.

Computer Issues

Sorry for the absence again, my computer is having so many damn issues at the moment I can't really do much, wish I could get it fixed or get a new one, one or the other would be nice, but the money isn't there. So anyways I may be able to post and I might not, but I will try not to let it go for too long. I swear its me though because my daughter has no problems with it, just me when I sit close to it, it freezes, it goes all wonky, it just plain stops. I'm just getting so frustrated. I have magnetic appeal...lol

Summer is almost here...Litha Ritual

I wrote this a couple years ago and thought I would share with you all because summer is coming next week. Hope you all enjoy.

Welcoming Summer

Litha 2010

By Danielle O'Shaughnessy

Items needed: A blanket or a picnic table, Elemental Items: Mango Iced Tea for Water, BBQ Chicken or anything BBQ for Fire, Pasta Salad for Air, Potato Salad for Earth, Watermelon for Goddess, Potato Chips for God, Horseshoes, Frisbee, anything that you may play during a picnic, other picnic items.

Set up: Lay out your blanket or find a picnic table. Set your Iced Tea in the West, BBQ Chicken in the South, Pasta Salad in the East, Potato Salad in the North, Watermelon and chips in the center, everything else within reach.

PreRitual Instructions: Make sure you have everything you need for the picnic.

Circle Casting:

Start from the East and walk around the blanket or table 3x and chant:

Let the Ants Stay away

Let the bugs fly way

Let this circle I cast

Be free of all harm.

Let the Winds guide us

Let the Fiery sun keep us warm

Let the cool waters refresh us

and the Earth give us balance.

The Circle is now cast

and may this glorious day last

we are now protected from all

negative energies. So mote it be.

Corner Calling:

Stand and Face East and raise up your arms (Draw a pentacle with your finger) and say:

Spirits of the East

Lord and Lady of the Gentle Winds

We welcome you, as we welcome summer. So Mote it Be.

Face the South and Draw a Pentacle with your finger and say:

Spirits of the South

Lord and Lady of the Flaming Sun

We welcome you, as we welcome summer. So Mote it Be.

Face the West and Draw a Pentacle with your finger and say:

Spirits of the West

Lord and Lady of the cool refreshing waters.

We welcome you, as we welcome summer. So Mote it Be.

Face the North and Draw a Pentacle with your finger and say:

Spirits of the North

Lord and Lady of the Green Meadows and the Majestic Mountains of Earth.

We welcome you, as we welcome summer. So Mote it Be.

Invocation to Ra:

As the Summer sun Shines brightly down.

I call unto you, Sun God Amun-Ra

Let your Rays shine down

Make smiles instead of Frowns

Be with us now on this summer day.

As we feel the warmth of your summer rays.

So Mote it be.

Invocation to Bast:

Oh Beautiful Sun Goddess Bast

I call upon you queen of all felines and Ruler of Bubaste

Beautiful Goddess of the Summer Days, you who brings the fun and joy to us all. Queen of the Warm Sun Rays. I call unto you to be with us on this warm summer day to celebrate, to have fun, to bring lots of joy. So Mote it be.

Spells/Blessings/Charms/Meditations/ Whatever:

Now's the time to have some fun, bring out your stuff that you are going to be playing with and say this little blessing before you start:

Lord Ra and Lady Bast. Bestow this blessing unto us and let us have some fun together as family and friends. May we bond and grow closer together this summer day. Let everyone have some fun and to deeply experience joy. So mote it be.

Cakes and Ale (Picnic):

Say this Blessing over the food:

Oh Great God Amun Ra and Beautiful Goddess Bast, Please Bless this food that we are about to partake. We eat and drink in your honor. We offer some in return for the joy and laughter you bestowed upon us. Brightest Blessings to you both.

Energy Requests will now be made

Thanks to Bast:

Thank you Bast for Joining us to welcome summer.

Thank you for allowing us to celebrate with you.

You have brought so much joy to us. Again Thank you Bast

Hail and Farewell.

Thanks to Ra:

Thank you Ra, for allowing us to enjoy your warm summer sun

Thank you for joining us to welcome summer

You have brought plenty of smiles and lots of joy. Again Thank you Ra.

Hail and Farewell.

Releasing the Elements:

Face the North and say:

Thank you Spirits of the North

and thank you Lord and Lady of the Green Meadows and the Majestic Mountains. Thank you for allowing us to enjoy the bounty of the Earth on this summer day. Hail and Farewell.

Face the West and Say:

Thank you Spirits of the West

and Thank you Lord and Lady of the Refreshing cool waters.

Thank you for allowing us to feel refreshed and cooled with your refreshing cool waters on this summer day. Hail and Farewell.

Face the South and say:

Thank you Spirits of the South

and Thank you Lord and Lady of the Flaming sun

Thank you for allowing us to enjoy the warm summer sun on this summer day. Hail and Farewell.

Face the East and say:

Thank you Spirits of the East

and Thank you Lord and Lady of the Gentle Breeze.

Thank you for bringing your gentle winds on this summer day.

Hail and Farewell.

Opening the Circle:

Going in the opposite direction of where you started. Walk around your blanket or table and say:

The circle is open, but never unbroken.

All negativity stayed out and all Positive energies stayed in.

So Mote it Be.

Ritual Ending:

Our ritual has ended, but the fun continues.

Go in Peace and Love

So Mote it Be.

Post Ritual Instructions:

Make sure you throw all garbage into the garbage can. Put all your picnic stuff away. Then continue to have fun on this day.

Recipes:

Mango Iced Tea:

1 ½ quarts cold water

6 tea bags

2 cups Mango Nectar

sugar

¼ cup Fresh Mint Leaves

Thinly sliced Mango

1. Bring water to a boil, turn off heat. Add tea Bags and steep until Tea is dark, about 5-10 minutes
2. Remove Tea Bags, Add Mango Nectar and add sugar to taste. Stir until sugar is dissolved.
3. Place in pitcher and add mint leaves. Pour over ice and garnish with mango slices.

Potato Salad:

8 medium Potatoes, peeled and cubed

3 eggs

1 small onion or 6 green onions, chopped

2 stalks of celery, chopped

¼ cup sweet pickle relish

¾ cup mayonnaise or miracle whip

1 Tablespoon prepared mustard

1 Teaspoon salt

pepper to taste

Cover Potatoes with water in a large saucepan. Cook until tender. Drain. At the same time the potatoes are cooking, put eggs in a small saucepan and bring them to a boil. Boil at least 5 minutes for hard boiled eggs. Remove from heat, cool in cold water. Peel eggs and chop. In a large bowl, combine cooked and cooled potatoes, chopped eggs and all remaining ingredients. Mix Well. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Macaroni Salad:

3 cups of cooked elbow macaroni

½ cup of mayonnaise or miracle whip

1 Stalk of celery, finely diced

1 green pepper, finely diced

1 tsp prepared mustard

1 tsp salt

1/3 cup sweet pickle relish

Combine drained macaroni with all ingredients, mix well. Refrigerate until ready to serve in order to blend flavors.

*both recipes come from the book: 365 quick, easy, & inexpensive Dinner Menus by Penny E. Stone

Iced Tea Recipe comes from Woman's World Magazine 

My Favorite Top twenty 70s songs

Well originally it was going to be 10, but I just couldn't choose, there are so many I that I enjoyed listening to when I was a young one, so here we go starting with number 20:

20) The Hustle by Van McCoy, seriously can't sit still when this plays, the dance is really easy to do

19) Disco Duck by Rick Dees and his cast of Idiots, lol I still love this song, so funny

18) Low Rider by War, awesome song

17) How Can you Mend a Broken Heart by The BeeGees, oh my god I cry every time I hear this song, RIP Robin Gibb, you are so missed. :(

16) Joy To the World by Three Dog Night, Just Yes :)

15) Love, love will keep us together by the Captain and Tennille

14) Bad Girls by The Disco Queen herself Donna Summer, another legend gone to soon :(

13) Do Ya Think I'm Sexy by Sexy Rod Stewart, oh the memories of this song ;o)

12) Staying Alive by The Beegees, Now who doesn't love Disco :)

11) Dancing Queen by Abba, I love them so much

10) Copacabana by Barry Manilow, oh my god those beautiful eyes, that beautiful voice *sigh

9) American Pie by Don McLean

8) In The Ghetto- Elvis Presley

7) In the Summertime- Mungo Jerry

6) Tie a Yellow Ribbon round the old oak tree- Tony Orlando and Dawn, yes a guilty pleasure of mine...lol what can I say I love the song

5) Dream on- Aerosmith

4) Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynrd, AWESOME AWESOME SONG, Yup that's why it here at number 4

3) Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues

2) Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks, are you ready for number 1, DRUM ROLLLLLLLLLL

1) My all time favorite song from the 70s, that I absolutely love, that I have used as my theme song for many years is I WILL SURVIVE BY GLORIA GAYNOR, so now go walk out the door, don't come around here, you're not welcome any more, I've got all my love to give, I've got all my life to live, I will Survive I will Survive. hey hey. Hope you all enjoyed my little musical this evening <3

My Top Ten Favorite Pagan books

10. Hedge Witch by Silver Ravenwolf- A book full of helpful hints, recipes, spells, rituals, crafts for your hedge witchery ways. I found this book quite easy to read and understand
9. All of the Herbal Almanacs from Llewellyn, I love these books. I started buying them in 2007 and buy them every single year, so much information, recipes about herbs.
8. All the Magical Almanacs from Llewelleyn, again these books provide a lot of good information every year
7.Witchcraft on a Shoestring by Deborah Blake, a book about practicing the craft on a budget, you don't have to spend a lot of money to do what you love, I love the part where it gives me 50 ways to practice witchcraft for little or no money
6.Wicca; A guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham, a good place to start if you are just a beginner
5. Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham, so full of good information if you want to know the meaning of each herb
4. All of the Kate West Books, This woman is awesome, I love her books, books include The Real Witches Kitchen and The Real Witches Craft
3. All of the Christopher Penszak books, The Inner Temple, The Outer Temple, etc....
2. All of Dorothy Morrison, Everyday Magic, The Craft, very easy read if you are just starting
1. And The Best of all in my Opinion, is Ms. Judika Illes, I mean her books are beyond awesome, 5000 spells, The Encyclopedia of Witchcraft and The Encyclopedia of Spirits, I will be buying more of her books. I just love her to pieces

These are not the only ones I like there are many many more, but I could add only 10.

Horse Racing, fantasies, Johnny Depp and other excitements from the day

The title alone shows how much I have going through my lovely head all at once, so I was looking forward to watching "I'll have Another" win the Belmont today, but the poor baby had to be retired yesterday due to on coming tendonitis, so better than he be put down after a hard long race, wishing him a speedy recovery, So I rooted for Union Rags and he won, didn't look promising at the beginning, but he pulled through...yayyyyy. Today is Johnny Depp's Birthday, damn I love him to pieces, well I love Adam Lambert a little more, but hey a girl can dream, put me in between the both of them and I shall die a happy death. It doesn't matter if Adam is Gay, it's my fantasy..hehehe ( is it getting warm in here) soooo any how, today was so crappy with rain, it was raining all day, tomorrow is going to be better according to the weatherman, did I say other excitements for today? Nope nothing really happened that was exciting

A couple of Vegetarian Recipes

Vegetable Soup

1 Can Tomato Juice (I prefer the vegetable cocktail, gives the soup some extra flavour, but you can use whatever you like.

1 Can of Corn

3 potatoes, peeled and chopped

2 cups of mini carrots, cut in half

1 onion, chopped

3-4 stalks of celery, peeled and chopped

1/2 head of cauliflower, chopped

1/2 carton of  vegetable soup stock

Add all ingredients to a crock pot or a big soup pot, season to taste

*Optional: Add one can of drained and rinsed lentils or chickpeas

Cook on high in Crockpot for 4 hrs or bring to a boil on stove top, reduce heat and simmer until vegetables are tender

Vegetarian Stir Fry

Stir fry potatoes or sweet potatoes( I like the sweet potatoes, adds extra vitamins), add some onions, zucchini, corn, peppers, garlic, whatever kind of veggie you like. At the end, when the veggies are almost tender, add the black beans and diced tomatoes. Add Cumin and chili powder( 1 tsp of each) while stir frying and also a pinch of salt and pepper. When finished, you can add cheese, ketchup, sour cream, yogurt, Tabasco sauce as a topping. For a change, you can add Tofu instead of the black beans

cooking time; 45 min- 1hr