Thursday, June 21, 2012
Depression, Anxiety, it sucks
Hope everyone had a Blessed Litha, a Merry Yule for the Southern Hemispherers and just a happy first day of Summer for everyone else. I've been having a lot going through my mind lately and been trying to sort through them all. My doctor put me on Zoloft again, I hate depression and anxiety. It's been lingering over me for so many years, no matter how much I fight, I think it has to do with lack of support. I just feel so alone sometimes and I think is it really worth still living here on this earth, no one really likes me that much, yes they say they do, but where are they? Do you know what stops me from just not wanting to be here anymore? My kids, my lights , my reason to want to live. They are the most important people to me. I could never leave them, one parent already left them. I can't do that to them. So it's a struggle from day to day. I feel like I'm a failure, no good at anything. I want a job, but don't have any experience, don't know what I'd be good at doing. I really want office work, but my typing skills aren't quick enough, I'm not quick enough for any employer, believe me I've heard it so many times and it gets really frustrating when you try your best, but its not good enough. I'm sorry for being all Debbie Downer today, I just needed to get everything off my chest, it was hurting me too much keeping it all in.